Solution

Yesterday i was worrying about her, seeing her eyes was swollen, emotional not stable, uncontrollable, those sadness was overwhelming each of us..Lately i saw her was talking wit her thru webcam and sound feeling better than before. Today she told me that everything has reach a compromise..both of them agreed to let each of us. she even told me that she is going to start a new relationship.she said that she is going to start a new relationship that;s why she feel uncontrollable and emotional..is sad to hear that. i believe if these words come out from xw, definately my tears won't be lesser than her.she told me that this is a turning point of her, i agreed with wut she said. This might be a tough time to go thru, or wut can i said, this might be a good time for both of them to adapt to a new environment, an environment or days that without her.. I guess there are no longer love exist between them, wut they have is it might be a habit for each of them, some sort of relying on each of them..now is time for them to be independent." Life Goes On", this is wut she told me, these wordings are great.v shud be heading towards but not behind. I reli wish both of them can be return back to the person that i knew previously, the girl that are happy go lucky, bright and cheerful..I wish i can see it.

Happy Burfday to My Beloved Darlingz

Strawberry Mouise Cake...His Burfday Cakie..

His

Burfday Dinner in TGI Fridays in The Curve



Happy Burfday to yOuuUuu!!!








Darling with lime juice and Strawberry moouse cake

Last week is his burfdayi, i have been busy thinking on his burfday present. Finally something come to my mind, which is perfume or wallet. I knew that he had allergy on perfume, so end up i have decided to buy a wallet for him. On the brand problem which make me mad. he told me NO RENOMA for him, such a choosy fella..and then i told him, i not able to get the branded wallet for him such as braun buffel, he agreed also..and i told him tht i got no time to buy his present so i decided to bring him along to get the present, he agree wit that. end up, the day before he came back, i went to 1utama with frens, i saw there are some discounts on jj on the guys wallet, unfortunately, i saw braun buffel this brand, i walked over there to hav a look, that moment i decided to get him one but for discounted one, end up the one that i choose is the new arrival and no discount at all, somemore it is so much more than my budgeted amount. Im so broke..but when the time i saw him open the present and that kind of shock and surprise when he saw the brand and the walet, i felt that it is worth it. i knew tht he is very happy on it..although, im not able to have a grand burfday for him jus a small piece of cake which can make him happy for the whole days...i guess this might be im his very first girlfriend and the very first burfday that celebrate wit him....wish that i can be celebrate for him for evy single year.

Relationship

Days passing very fast, by calculating the days that v had been today is about 2 more months edi..time reli pass very fast..I felt very happy when i have him as my beloved and some kind of recognition from both of our families, it doesnt refer to those procedure like "meet the parents" but it had been get some kind of introduce me to his family members and do have a day out wit his sister..a nice gal..but i just feel like a weird feeling..may be this is so called the tension or scare feeling.I was afraid that im not acceptable by his families..hope im not wrong..
While at the same time of my happiness, i never notice that my fren is suffering, i felt so sad on it, how come i never notice my fren is suffering, when i knew it wut had happened on her, i felt tht im helpless, and i just CAN"T DO ANYTHING".Recently, her incident has been apprearing in my mind oftenly, i reli duno why, i cant figure it out aso..Have been seeing her suffering evything that she just cant do anything to solve this problem, this is wut she told me" This is not easy to solve, involve in too many people, hard to figure a good solution", at that moment, i wish she can share out evything to me, may be this problem unsolveable, but i wish some kind of expressing out the feeling might make her felt more relieve of not keeping this secret in her mind for such a long time. when she told me about the incident, i have been suspecting for a long time, but as a best fren of her, since she dun wana express out anything, i will just leave her alone on this, cos this is wut v believe, " If a person willing to tell out something, he or she definately will express it out without asking by other frens" this is our theory, i believe it so do she. I reli dun wana see her continue to suffer by having so much problems which including some sort of stress that giving by her family.Hair drops, no apetite, insomia and so on..i saw her had weight dropping, she is getting thin and thinner.When i see this, i reli duno wut to do, just like wut she told me " Sorry for letting u know it which add on stress on u" gal, frens are never mention on these kind of words unless u never ever treated me as a good fren of u. I reli wish all of those person pls stop adding in stress on u, if u reli a considerate person or care for her, pls let her go and leave her alone.
I reli duno why, recently many of my frens have problems on their relationship, felt that sadness surrounding all of us...never ever ends..recently, the latest one that i knew is a good fren of him, he told me that, he felt so sad on the relationship that had been dragging for a long time and now finally reach an end. For him, this is suppose to be a good solution or some kind of relieve, instead of this, he felt sad on this relationship.i guess he is truth to her but with the word of "commitment", they are afraid to proceed to the next step, i bet, there might be just a single step, will reach to a happy ending but they couldn't reach there.Although he is not so close to me, the way he told me about his story, i can feel that he is suffering..he is losing her, which may be of those WORDING from him to her or may be this suppose to be the time to end this dragged relationship.
After knowing so many incidents, i will feel that im in happiness but there are still some kind of worry, afraid me and him will be the next, but i knew that we won't be easily come to an end after all those things happened among us, our relationship shud be build up concrete.some wishes come to my mind which is i wish all my frens are stay happily and healthy everyday, no more some sort of stress, worry and sadness....

miss you like crazy!!!

I never know about the feeling of missing a person like crazy.. i guess now i felt that.. this is the first time i miss a person like crazy, he seems near to me but far from me..I never had a feeling of missing a person for every minute every second..he is the onli person i had this feeling, jus wana manja him, lao gai in front of him...i miss him soo muchie.. cant wait until sun, that time i can meet him..reli wish he is be by my side everyday..he is the first person who i feel like i wana stay wit him, hug him, be with him,the person who i wish to tell my families he is my beloved, the person i wish to marry, the person who i feel i stay forever with him..i reli duno why i had al these feeling in my heart...all i know is i reli wish to be with him forever...may be too many things happened between us..many memories..like v go thru lots of things..nth can stop us now..i wish to appreciate and cherish him as much as i can...now onli i know he is the one im looking for...too many things that happened previously, i jus wana forget about it and let it pass..dear..i love you...

Finally...

Finally, everything has came to a decision..after all the things had happened for these few months, i found out i couldn't let him go away from him, i started to miss him evyday, miss the day that he didn't call me, miss the day the he didn't look for me, scared that he said he is going to leave me, scared that his fren will use diff angle to see me..soo much fear and worry on me now..finali, all my worries reach an ends, evything is turning up to a good way...since so many things happened recently, finali im his beloved, we hav so called the title for both of us..i knew that he is so happy ever since that day i said yes..and still he is so stupid til he needs my hints to know that im ready, sometimes i reli felt frustrated on it, but after i hav think for a while, it might be a good thing for me to prove that he will not easily fall in love with others or easily say those words to other gals, he can gif me some kind of secure, i felt so much secure when im with him although it is not physically, but i do felt that kind of secure from him.i knew that he will use his heart to love me, to cherish me and appreciate me, i guess this time i reli find my mr right. although he is not handsome , not rich stupid but i reli like him to use his heart to love me..although v had not started for a long time, but i felt like i have been gone thru many things with him, many memories with him..with hapy and sadness..ever since im with him, all the moments i've been thinking on him, missing him, i reli miss him so much, wish that he can be by my side...before i be with him, i told him evything about her, the days and memories with her..i knew that it might be something very unacceptable by a guy, but i reli didn;t mean to cheat him when im be with him, i reli dun wan to cheat him anymore..i want to use my heart to love him..to cherish him.i admit, sumtimes when i heard tht she call hm or asked her out for yum cha, in my heart i felt a bit weird, i guess i still haven totally forget her, i reli wish to be her fren and let all the things passed, somehow i need to do it..i couldn;t be as playful as last time..i will cherish him...love him..

Biatch....

Sometimes i was thinking...in this world, there are full with different types of people..the most common type of people which is bitch...how come in our life there are full with this kind of people...hate them much..fake in front of the people..keep on hurting people..a person's sadness will be her happiness..how can she do this to her...i was wondering wut did she think...during dinner time...sharmen hide herself inside her room..evyone thought that she was busy studying so do i...end up bird told us that she heard that chris is in anger mode talking to her..i was wondering what had happened again..izzit this is relate to that bitch..which causes them quarrel or wut..that moment 3 of use were silent all the while, only concentrate on having our dinner..when v are finished our dinner, chris was walking in wit a smiling faces however sharmen's face was red like a tomato..and her eyes was red..i was wondering whether she was crying jus now...but i looked back on chris..i felt weird..cos she was like normal..do not have any symdom showed that they are in a war..after she went back..sharmen told us wut happened...again and again...that bitch..i hate her...doing all those idiot's things...she was soo naif in her thinking...thought that she can control her...although she is successful now ...she had to listen to her, and folow on her wants..why??this type of people like to pretend like a friendly person in front of people however at the back her face totally turn up to another type of person...gosh...she was being suffered on it..all of us couldn't do anything...felt upset for her..sometimes when i think back, this might not be related to other people..is chris..being afraid when facing her...becos of something else that she needs to rely on her...izzit becos of this, she ned to be control by her...as a fren, when i saw this, i felt very upset especially when i got nothing i can do in order to help her...that bitch's attitude is being damn weird...v notice that, she felt very happy when she saw that chris being worried on her...damn it..wut kind of person is this...how can she can be like that...bitch..being soo selfish to other ppl...damn her...becos of her, there are too many quarrel among us...stop it!!! she is being soo dependent on her...stick with her 24 hours...much more sticky than super glu...just like the way gf treat bf...damn disgusting....i felt soooo disgusting...damn it....stop it right now!!!

sweet + blurr + frighten

What a good slep for yesterday nite...finally im willing to call him "dear"..im not sure whether this is a good thing or not...on that moment, i do felt very sweet when he called me or when i called him..end up today..when i think back, do v move too fast until that stage...this question keep on surrounding my mind...yes or no??i reli duno...may be me myself felt in 2 ways..sumtimes i do felt good sumtimes im not..how can?the process moving too fast might not be a good thing...sumtimes when i think back wut did sharmen told me, is correct. she said i shoud use time to evaluate a person..time is essential to a relationship.it is possible for us to understand a person's attitude and behaviour...im totally agree with her...i just wondering sumtimes i do have another thought that i wish to be wit him now...BUT...this step couldn't move forward..cos i still remember the past incident...the main failure in this incident is that i refuse to listen to her advises..for now, i will remember my past mistake that made, i need to use time to evaluate a person...shouldn't be rush on this relationship..i should use time to "plant" this relationship so that it will not easily get spoiled..
wow...after a sweet dreams..evything should be going fine...something that is horrible happened to me...there was a insane guy knocked my door, who looking for hc..gosh..how stupid i am til i opened the door and talk soo much with him..he kep on persuade me to let him come in...i refuse..that moment i notice that he is not and ordinary person but a problematic people...after hm told me that that fella is an insane guy...gosh..im soo scare..the main reason is becos im lonely at home..i was afraid til couldn't let myself step out my door...keep on calling frens for help..who knows, nobody answer my call...seems like evyone is disappear at the moment..keep on and keep on calling..luckily im able to get thru chin loong...he is willing to come over to fetch me...wut a lucky....another lucky thing is he is not around when i went out...later, i told pc evything...she asked me 1 question..."did u tell him about wut u had happened to u" i answered him quickily by i will tell him tonite...i was wondering, am i telling lies...at that moment, i wish to tell him evything..end up, no msg was sent out to him...i duno why...sumtimes i wish to tell him evything that happen to me at the first time it happened..sumtimes i will stop doing this..i also duno why..am i hate being so dependent or i wish to stay 1 step far from him or at this stage of our relationship im not require to report evything to him at the first time...gosh...i duno ...evything seems blurr in my mind..or i choose to avoid knowing it..i really don't know..pc did asked me whether wana go over sheffield with her..in my mind, there is really a thought that i wish i can go over to visit him but i was afraid to be suddenly soo close wit him...i hate being our relationship being too fast and furious...end up, i choose cambridge trip...wutever..evything just let it be....let it be....