Arguement???

These few days, sadness and tears are overwelmed me...I don't know why??everytime when i heard his name, anything mentioned about him, my heart felt sad and moody...this had been happened for the pass few days.Problems occur between us.His attitude irritates me, when i want to talk to him, he told me he wants to sleep, again and again...really irritates me alot.i never had this kind of feeling before eventough i get dumpped last time.i still remember last time, no matter how hurt or how sad i am, i never drop a single tears because of them however this time, i really don;t know how much tears i have been dropped because of him. Earlier im still wondering what had happened to me, am i begin becoming a ham bao???im wondering til the day hormei told me, im really starting a new relationship and this guy might be the one who going through my life with me, that's why im concerning this relationship with him.I started agree with her.i found out i reli love him..not that kind of feeling when we just started..is totally different.he makes me mad, makes me happy, makes me cry, is all because of him.These few days, i didn;t argue but talk nicely to each other and i cried. Im so silly, i wrote an email to him at one night, but end up i deleted it on the next morning before he woke up, im reli silly cause i don't want him to see that email, cos i really afraid we will be over..that email didn;t mention anything about breaking off or wut but solely my feelings..til yesterday, again when i was talking to him he ran away..i felt very irritating and angry..later when he came back, he knew that i was angry but he don;t even want to speak a single word to me, i was so worried, scared and sad.for the past 8 months, he never mention this sentence to me before no matter how angry was him, never but today he said it, he really said it.Im so sad til i don;t know to do. I didn;t drop a single tears until hormei came in and talked to me. Suddenly she said " eh where is xiauweng?" my tears started dropping...I also don;t why it comes suddenly....then she let me be alone..i was crying again...i sat in front of my computer to see any msg sent by him coming, however, it dissapointed me!!!not even a word sent over...Im so sad...and is the first time i felt so helpless.....Before i left my room, i sent a msg to him, later on i turned back and looked at my monitor screen to see any alert light of the msg coming, again it dissapoint me again...I felt like im losing him, he no longer bother me anymore...I got no mood at all although i was going for my favourite movie..later before the movie starts, i saw his msg, i opened it and he said, " I saw ur msg, no worries, v will be fine, enjoy ur movie".These 3 sentences makes me feel cold....im so scared...i didn;t really enjoy much during my movie time, my mind cant stop thinking about him..Finally until the movie has ended, i saw the time it was 11smth, i knew that he must be in his dream.Im so down until i came back to my room,i saw he is still online, i knew he must be waiting me.i quickily finish my thing and came to him.It is already 12, he told me he is waiting for me and he wants to talk me, my heart beats is going to abnormal...we started to talk...we talked about everything that happened these few days, there is smth which we always quarrel about which is his family, i blame him for making any decision without discussing with me, i cried madly...Finally he told me he got no choice but have to do so and he cried, this is the frst time i saw him cried i felt so sad....reli sad..i knew he must be very sad...Because of his family problem, he has to do so, if anything happen like his parents want him to come back, he has to dropped down everything and come back to start all over again..suddenly i felt he is carrying evything on his shoulder, i pity him for doing so...i feel so painful when see so...He told me he dont; want to tell me earlier cause he thought this is not a problem for us, and he dont want to burden me right now or make me choose anything right now..I feel like it is really hardly for me to choose between him and my career...All the while i kep on questioning him why he dont; want to buy a house in spore, he refuse to tell me, now i realise he dont want to burden me.I dont want to drop evything here go over there and later he told me he wants to come back...i cant stand of that kind of changes.he wish me to follow him wherever he goes...im stunt at that time, i really don;t know what to do...he told me he already expect one day i will be breaking off with him because of this matter, he already ready for that...what on earth makes him lose confident on me..i admit i like to use break off this word to fool around, but deep in my heart, i never ever wants to break off with him cause i really love him, really....I stunt there and i don;t know what to do...i asked him to slep since he has to work today..before i dropped down the call, he told me he really love me and he reli wish i can follow him wherever he goes. He seldom say so to me....i feel so warm...I couldnt slep well for the whole night cause my mind cant stop thinking about it..This morning he sent a msg to me and said sorry for making me sad and cry for these few days and said that he is not a good and qualified bf and being selfish always...i read that msg, at that moment i don't know how to answer him, later i only i reply him after i think about everything, i told him i love him and wants to be with him.He never reply more, but by three words..i knew how he feel now, he feels relieve and no more worry...i guess after all of this, our relationship is stepping onto another stage, which is getting stable and good...i wish that...i wish no more this happen.....