Arguement???

These few days, sadness and tears are overwelmed me...I don't know why??everytime when i heard his name, anything mentioned about him, my heart felt sad and moody...this had been happened for the pass few days.Problems occur between us.His attitude irritates me, when i want to talk to him, he told me he wants to sleep, again and again...really irritates me alot.i never had this kind of feeling before eventough i get dumpped last time.i still remember last time, no matter how hurt or how sad i am, i never drop a single tears because of them however this time, i really don;t know how much tears i have been dropped because of him. Earlier im still wondering what had happened to me, am i begin becoming a ham bao???im wondering til the day hormei told me, im really starting a new relationship and this guy might be the one who going through my life with me, that's why im concerning this relationship with him.I started agree with her.i found out i reli love him..not that kind of feeling when we just started..is totally different.he makes me mad, makes me happy, makes me cry, is all because of him.These few days, i didn;t argue but talk nicely to each other and i cried. Im so silly, i wrote an email to him at one night, but end up i deleted it on the next morning before he woke up, im reli silly cause i don't want him to see that email, cos i really afraid we will be over..that email didn;t mention anything about breaking off or wut but solely my feelings..til yesterday, again when i was talking to him he ran away..i felt very irritating and angry..later when he came back, he knew that i was angry but he don;t even want to speak a single word to me, i was so worried, scared and sad.for the past 8 months, he never mention this sentence to me before no matter how angry was him, never but today he said it, he really said it.Im so sad til i don;t know to do. I didn;t drop a single tears until hormei came in and talked to me. Suddenly she said " eh where is xiauweng?" my tears started dropping...I also don;t why it comes suddenly....then she let me be alone..i was crying again...i sat in front of my computer to see any msg sent by him coming, however, it dissapointed me!!!not even a word sent over...Im so sad...and is the first time i felt so helpless.....Before i left my room, i sent a msg to him, later on i turned back and looked at my monitor screen to see any alert light of the msg coming, again it dissapoint me again...I felt like im losing him, he no longer bother me anymore...I got no mood at all although i was going for my favourite movie..later before the movie starts, i saw his msg, i opened it and he said, " I saw ur msg, no worries, v will be fine, enjoy ur movie".These 3 sentences makes me feel cold....im so scared...i didn;t really enjoy much during my movie time, my mind cant stop thinking about him..Finally until the movie has ended, i saw the time it was 11smth, i knew that he must be in his dream.Im so down until i came back to my room,i saw he is still online, i knew he must be waiting me.i quickily finish my thing and came to him.It is already 12, he told me he is waiting for me and he wants to talk me, my heart beats is going to abnormal...we started to talk...we talked about everything that happened these few days, there is smth which we always quarrel about which is his family, i blame him for making any decision without discussing with me, i cried madly...Finally he told me he got no choice but have to do so and he cried, this is the frst time i saw him cried i felt so sad....reli sad..i knew he must be very sad...Because of his family problem, he has to do so, if anything happen like his parents want him to come back, he has to dropped down everything and come back to start all over again..suddenly i felt he is carrying evything on his shoulder, i pity him for doing so...i feel so painful when see so...He told me he dont; want to tell me earlier cause he thought this is not a problem for us, and he dont want to burden me right now or make me choose anything right now..I feel like it is really hardly for me to choose between him and my career...All the while i kep on questioning him why he dont; want to buy a house in spore, he refuse to tell me, now i realise he dont want to burden me.I dont want to drop evything here go over there and later he told me he wants to come back...i cant stand of that kind of changes.he wish me to follow him wherever he goes...im stunt at that time, i really don;t know what to do...he told me he already expect one day i will be breaking off with him because of this matter, he already ready for that...what on earth makes him lose confident on me..i admit i like to use break off this word to fool around, but deep in my heart, i never ever wants to break off with him cause i really love him, really....I stunt there and i don;t know what to do...i asked him to slep since he has to work today..before i dropped down the call, he told me he really love me and he reli wish i can follow him wherever he goes. He seldom say so to me....i feel so warm...I couldnt slep well for the whole night cause my mind cant stop thinking about it..This morning he sent a msg to me and said sorry for making me sad and cry for these few days and said that he is not a good and qualified bf and being selfish always...i read that msg, at that moment i don't know how to answer him, later i only i reply him after i think about everything, i told him i love him and wants to be with him.He never reply more, but by three words..i knew how he feel now, he feels relieve and no more worry...i guess after all of this, our relationship is stepping onto another stage, which is getting stable and good...i wish that...i wish no more this happen.....

Sadness Part 2

She was not happy today and she was crying just now, i reli feel like i cant do anything to help her, she was so moody and sad...due to her again, i reli felt very frustrated on her behaviour towards her, just simply losing the temper on her..wut kind of person is that, izzit just because of her sickness or other people didn't treat her well and she just misuse this frenship and just losing the temper to her, that;s is unfair to her, i cant say anything, i just dont wana to continue seeing this....wut a damn...
further more, she told me that she had a sickness and she refuse to double check again from the doctor, i was very worry on her, this is not a joke and it is something very important and serious for her personal healthy problem, if continue like this, it may harm her body, i reli dun want to see this, i was very worry and she seems like afraid of facing this sickness, as a fren, i felt im so useless and at this moment i seems like cant do anything to help her...so far, actuali it had been happened for a long time and i just knew about it...wut can i do to help her, to let her to see doctor to cure the sickness....wut can i do ???as a fren, i reli doesnt wana see her continue like this....seeing her suffer and i also feel like wana cry like i cant do anything to help her and im not a good best fren for her.....damn it.......god pls bless her...all the blesses falls on her.....pls pls pls.....she is my best fren and i dun wan to leave her alone....btu i got no time....pls ...blesses..i need blesses...

Meet the Parents

He came back edi..makes me feel very happy for these few days..almost evyday we are stick together besides sleeping time...reli wish that he can be by my side all the time..these few days, i reli felt very happy.i onli can use happiness this word to represent my feeling...til that day he told me that, his sister recommend his whole family go out for a dinner together and she aso ask me and his bf along..i felt damn tension and scare when i heard this, i wish to go but i reli felt very tension, this is my first time having dinner with his family....finally reach his house, i felt his house looks very old, dirty and messy, because his house is the place for work and also the place for them to sleep. that time onli i know he grew up at this kind of place, so it is understandable that he is such a stingy person when come to himself on buying things...which makes me get to knwo him well..his mother is such a nice person, she knew that i was heaty, she asked him to take the tong sui for me and bring some mee for me to eat, besides, actuali she plans to boil another tong sui on the next day, but when she knew that im coming, she boil it on that day, i felt very touching on that, such a nice aunty, his father doesnt look fierce but bit silent...his brother were shy and we didnt say a single word, his sister still ok, just that i have a bit scare on his first brother since xw always take his car to fetch me to go out, sometimes i reli worry that his brother don;t like me becos of this...and i was scare to tell him about that...during the dinner, he was so careless, he took the yam for me and he himself take the meat, i felt very geram that time but i din say a single word..at last, luckily he take the vege to me..he is damn stupid, i purposely take out the cover of the prawn to him but he think that i dun wan to eat the prawn, such a stupid person la....but i reli felt happiness when im with him,, is it this can consider as we have step into another stage???i was wondering...recently he become very sweet on the wording that he said to me, and he started to say those loving words to me, i felt very happy when evytime he told me that he reli love me so much and cant let me go...i feel very touching which makes me cant easily to leave him alone....i was wondering when will be the time for me to bring him over to my house to let dad and mum to meet him....i dun think in a shorter time i will be bringing him over...she sent flowers to her...wut a big flowers...all of reli happy for her and envy..such a big bunch of flowers, reli make ppl envy...i oni can see her smiling face and happiness expression appear on her face.....

Mood was spoiled

Suppose today is the most happy day to me, whole day i was very happy and i was like counting down the hours that he's coming back to me..reli miss him so muchie..cant wait to see him edi.. end up my mood was totally spoiled. her wording was totally hurt...the things that she said made me feel like she is not trusting me...i can accept no trusting from frens but not families..i hate that feeling....

Bad day 2

Sob sob....wut a bad and unlucky thing..seems like none of the things goes right..ever since this morning until just now..nothing good happened..all the things couldnt go on smoothly...there mus be something jam up over there..really mentally stress up for the whole day til all the temper came out, moody and feel sad..on the work i guess...reli like stress recently..nothing seems going right, i have been trying my very best to do it, but still couldnt solve it...reli stress man...somemore, i hurt my hand, shoulder and waist..very painful...becos of chris la, by helping her to carry the heavy microwave, i hurt myself...sob sob...wish that he is here to help me to masage and put medicine...cant wait til the day he come back..

Wut I have done for today!!!

Wut a tiring day..i sweep the floor, mop the floor, wash the kitchen, clean my rooms, wipe the windows, iron the clothes..etc...til im totally exhausted..then i went for swimming...But still i have did smth for xiauweng..i make smth special for him as our 100 days anniversary present. It might not be smth expensive but something that i make solely for him..i made this til my hand and neck also painful..but al of this not becos of only making this til i felt tired instead i feel happy when i did this to him..when i love somebody, u will willing to do smth for him..eventough u feel tired but u will think that wut u have done is worth to get his smile on his face by saying "thank you dear, i love it so much", is reli worth for it..

Farewell to AWei

Again, there is another fren who is going to leave this big families..she is the person who leave after seow hwee..she is a bit boyish, tough and good-looking..is a nice person..i was absent on the morning session, she bought ice-cream as a farewell present for each of them, but too bad i dun hav one and it doesnt matter to me. Suddenly, this afternoon, when melinda came back from MAS, she walked towards me and hand over a red box, when i saw it, i knew it was KFC, she told me that the chicken is ah wei asked her to buy for me as the farewell present since i missed the ice-crema yesterday, that moment i felt so much touching cos i never think that i will have it somemore is something different from each of them. That moment i knew that we bought that cake for her is worth for it.This cake is a big surprise to her..i can see that she feels touching on the things that we did it to her..especially the moment that she left the office, i still remember it was 630pm, everybody walked over and said the last goodbye to her. Before she left, she told melinda that she missed her tong sui so much and her tears dropped down.all of us felt surprise, a tough gal will dropped her tears..i was wondered when the day soh cheng leave or me, will i cry???the question prompt out from my mind. when everybody busy saying goodbye to her, sip walked over to the door there and open to ask her to leave, i know he just wana fool around, since he lost a good partner on the audit work..all of us miss her so much, she have been here for about a year, the time is not long and not short, too much memories brought over to her..those sadness and happiness..althought YCC might not be a good company to give wutever you want in terms of increment or opportunity to reach higher but still it is a warmest company, the environment of working, the colleagues are frenly, like to fool around, helping each others..when i look back i notice that i've make a right decision on the time wheni choose this company, im not regret of coming in, one thing i canot admit is i reli thanks to karuna, he reli teach me alot and help me alot... i reli gain alot from him..never regret on working here...