hurting you...

after back from the london..there has been 2 days didn't chat with him..thinking that the day that i cum bk can hav a nice chat wit him..but too bad...my internet connection have some problem...til i couldn't online..msg him and tell him wut happen to me...after the msg that i send out..suddenly i receive a call from him, i was totally shocked and felt happy..never think that he will call me ..haha..cos he is sooo kedekut...thru the way that he speak i knew that he was worried on me on my sickness..i felt very warm on his concern to me...reli warm and hav a nice slep that nite...things are cuming again..he msg in the morning..he told me that he wish he can be there to take care of me...wow..i was totally very happy and felt very warm..i wish i see him at that moment, but i know i can't...sometimes, i felt that i was soo cruel that i hurt him for thousand and thousand times...i felt very sory to him..i shouldn't be soo naif and misuse my innocent to hurt him..although he told me that he didn't mind..but there must be a worn in his heart..im soo sory to him..i shouldn't make him happy at a moment and push him down to to deep well again..im soo cruel..i hate myself for being so cruel...i hate me...how can i can hurt him much...i wish i can be with him right now..but i can't..i know i can't....i reli can't..i promise i won't hurt him anymore..this is the onli thing i can gif u which is the promise of not letting him hurt becos of me and down becos of me..this is the onli thing i can gif to u....