stressful...

Something extraordinary thing happened last night while im busy studying...just heard siew wah told me that something serious happened in pohchun's house..i was worried on her when i found out she din reply me in msn so i decided to call her and ask her what had happened..through listening to her voice, i can hear that soo much fear that she had for last night...the stranger was going in their house..til each of them were frightened til dropping tears...i can understand how much fear that they had during that time...after i heard it, im shocked..and felt very scary....how come such things can be happened...in my mind i know that jia feng's fault cos he is the one who bring him back to their house but i knew that he is regret on what had happened today so i dare not mention a single word on blaming on him...after this incident, v shud be extra careful on it...today i heard jenn rong told me that he had bought a special gift for me..no matter how much pressure i giv him, he still refuse to say a single word on wha the bought for me...end up..i still know bout it after forcing by me...is quite a special gift...but a bit weird..is a gift that totally out of expectation...anyway..i will appreciate the gift that he bought for me..after i knew about the incident that happened on pc, i had a thought that he is first person that i had in my mind and i wish to tell him..i wan to let him know what had happened here...i really duno that what kind of feeling is that?and i really dun wan to think about it now...am i get the ans edi or im trying to avoid on thinking about it??i really duno...really duno what i want now..i got a feeling that im wasting his time on waiting for me...am i too cruel??yesterday nite he keep on asking to sms him when i felt bored or any special thing happen...but i didn't send a single sms to him til i receive his msg..i felt very warm and notice that he is still concern on me even if he is on a trip...i reli felt hapy about that...although the msg didn't contain any special...those caring words that he type was warming my heart....is truth....i was accidently burst out that i got a habit on writting blog..i got no idea why he is soo curious on knowing what i wrote inside...may be he think that there mus be some feeling that i wrote inside that is regarding on him...i was afriad that he get it and notice that he should not read it...those feeling that i wrote are mainly on barry not him....i was afraid it will harm him again..i really dun wan to harm him anymore...beside him, one moer thing that harm me alot which is my studies..duno why, i got a strong feeling that i felt very stressful...stress til im going to drop out my tears...i felt very stress...that kind of feeling is hardly to explain in wording....the kind of feeling that i never had before...i was afraid to have it.....really afraid...