Arguement???

These few days, sadness and tears are overwelmed me...I don't know why??everytime when i heard his name, anything mentioned about him, my heart felt sad and moody...this had been happened for the pass few days.Problems occur between us.His attitude irritates me, when i want to talk to him, he told me he wants to sleep, again and again...really irritates me alot.i never had this kind of feeling before eventough i get dumpped last time.i still remember last time, no matter how hurt or how sad i am, i never drop a single tears because of them however this time, i really don;t know how much tears i have been dropped because of him. Earlier im still wondering what had happened to me, am i begin becoming a ham bao???im wondering til the day hormei told me, im really starting a new relationship and this guy might be the one who going through my life with me, that's why im concerning this relationship with him.I started agree with her.i found out i reli love him..not that kind of feeling when we just started..is totally different.he makes me mad, makes me happy, makes me cry, is all because of him.These few days, i didn;t argue but talk nicely to each other and i cried. Im so silly, i wrote an email to him at one night, but end up i deleted it on the next morning before he woke up, im reli silly cause i don't want him to see that email, cos i really afraid we will be over..that email didn;t mention anything about breaking off or wut but solely my feelings..til yesterday, again when i was talking to him he ran away..i felt very irritating and angry..later when he came back, he knew that i was angry but he don;t even want to speak a single word to me, i was so worried, scared and sad.for the past 8 months, he never mention this sentence to me before no matter how angry was him, never but today he said it, he really said it.Im so sad til i don;t know to do. I didn;t drop a single tears until hormei came in and talked to me. Suddenly she said " eh where is xiauweng?" my tears started dropping...I also don;t why it comes suddenly....then she let me be alone..i was crying again...i sat in front of my computer to see any msg sent by him coming, however, it dissapointed me!!!not even a word sent over...Im so sad...and is the first time i felt so helpless.....Before i left my room, i sent a msg to him, later on i turned back and looked at my monitor screen to see any alert light of the msg coming, again it dissapoint me again...I felt like im losing him, he no longer bother me anymore...I got no mood at all although i was going for my favourite movie..later before the movie starts, i saw his msg, i opened it and he said, " I saw ur msg, no worries, v will be fine, enjoy ur movie".These 3 sentences makes me feel cold....im so scared...i didn;t really enjoy much during my movie time, my mind cant stop thinking about him..Finally until the movie has ended, i saw the time it was 11smth, i knew that he must be in his dream.Im so down until i came back to my room,i saw he is still online, i knew he must be waiting me.i quickily finish my thing and came to him.It is already 12, he told me he is waiting for me and he wants to talk me, my heart beats is going to abnormal...we started to talk...we talked about everything that happened these few days, there is smth which we always quarrel about which is his family, i blame him for making any decision without discussing with me, i cried madly...Finally he told me he got no choice but have to do so and he cried, this is the frst time i saw him cried i felt so sad....reli sad..i knew he must be very sad...Because of his family problem, he has to do so, if anything happen like his parents want him to come back, he has to dropped down everything and come back to start all over again..suddenly i felt he is carrying evything on his shoulder, i pity him for doing so...i feel so painful when see so...He told me he dont; want to tell me earlier cause he thought this is not a problem for us, and he dont want to burden me right now or make me choose anything right now..I feel like it is really hardly for me to choose between him and my career...All the while i kep on questioning him why he dont; want to buy a house in spore, he refuse to tell me, now i realise he dont want to burden me.I dont want to drop evything here go over there and later he told me he wants to come back...i cant stand of that kind of changes.he wish me to follow him wherever he goes...im stunt at that time, i really don;t know what to do...he told me he already expect one day i will be breaking off with him because of this matter, he already ready for that...what on earth makes him lose confident on me..i admit i like to use break off this word to fool around, but deep in my heart, i never ever wants to break off with him cause i really love him, really....I stunt there and i don;t know what to do...i asked him to slep since he has to work today..before i dropped down the call, he told me he really love me and he reli wish i can follow him wherever he goes. He seldom say so to me....i feel so warm...I couldnt slep well for the whole night cause my mind cant stop thinking about it..This morning he sent a msg to me and said sorry for making me sad and cry for these few days and said that he is not a good and qualified bf and being selfish always...i read that msg, at that moment i don't know how to answer him, later i only i reply him after i think about everything, i told him i love him and wants to be with him.He never reply more, but by three words..i knew how he feel now, he feels relieve and no more worry...i guess after all of this, our relationship is stepping onto another stage, which is getting stable and good...i wish that...i wish no more this happen.....

Sadness Part 2

She was not happy today and she was crying just now, i reli feel like i cant do anything to help her, she was so moody and sad...due to her again, i reli felt very frustrated on her behaviour towards her, just simply losing the temper on her..wut kind of person is that, izzit just because of her sickness or other people didn't treat her well and she just misuse this frenship and just losing the temper to her, that;s is unfair to her, i cant say anything, i just dont wana to continue seeing this....wut a damn...
further more, she told me that she had a sickness and she refuse to double check again from the doctor, i was very worry on her, this is not a joke and it is something very important and serious for her personal healthy problem, if continue like this, it may harm her body, i reli dun want to see this, i was very worry and she seems like afraid of facing this sickness, as a fren, i felt im so useless and at this moment i seems like cant do anything to help her...so far, actuali it had been happened for a long time and i just knew about it...wut can i do to help her, to let her to see doctor to cure the sickness....wut can i do ???as a fren, i reli doesnt wana see her continue like this....seeing her suffer and i also feel like wana cry like i cant do anything to help her and im not a good best fren for her.....damn it.......god pls bless her...all the blesses falls on her.....pls pls pls.....she is my best fren and i dun wan to leave her alone....btu i got no time....pls ...blesses..i need blesses...

Meet the Parents

He came back edi..makes me feel very happy for these few days..almost evyday we are stick together besides sleeping time...reli wish that he can be by my side all the time..these few days, i reli felt very happy.i onli can use happiness this word to represent my feeling...til that day he told me that, his sister recommend his whole family go out for a dinner together and she aso ask me and his bf along..i felt damn tension and scare when i heard this, i wish to go but i reli felt very tension, this is my first time having dinner with his family....finally reach his house, i felt his house looks very old, dirty and messy, because his house is the place for work and also the place for them to sleep. that time onli i know he grew up at this kind of place, so it is understandable that he is such a stingy person when come to himself on buying things...which makes me get to knwo him well..his mother is such a nice person, she knew that i was heaty, she asked him to take the tong sui for me and bring some mee for me to eat, besides, actuali she plans to boil another tong sui on the next day, but when she knew that im coming, she boil it on that day, i felt very touching on that, such a nice aunty, his father doesnt look fierce but bit silent...his brother were shy and we didnt say a single word, his sister still ok, just that i have a bit scare on his first brother since xw always take his car to fetch me to go out, sometimes i reli worry that his brother don;t like me becos of this...and i was scare to tell him about that...during the dinner, he was so careless, he took the yam for me and he himself take the meat, i felt very geram that time but i din say a single word..at last, luckily he take the vege to me..he is damn stupid, i purposely take out the cover of the prawn to him but he think that i dun wan to eat the prawn, such a stupid person la....but i reli felt happiness when im with him,, is it this can consider as we have step into another stage???i was wondering...recently he become very sweet on the wording that he said to me, and he started to say those loving words to me, i felt very happy when evytime he told me that he reli love me so much and cant let me go...i feel very touching which makes me cant easily to leave him alone....i was wondering when will be the time for me to bring him over to my house to let dad and mum to meet him....i dun think in a shorter time i will be bringing him over...she sent flowers to her...wut a big flowers...all of reli happy for her and envy..such a big bunch of flowers, reli make ppl envy...i oni can see her smiling face and happiness expression appear on her face.....

Mood was spoiled

Suppose today is the most happy day to me, whole day i was very happy and i was like counting down the hours that he's coming back to me..reli miss him so muchie..cant wait to see him edi.. end up my mood was totally spoiled. her wording was totally hurt...the things that she said made me feel like she is not trusting me...i can accept no trusting from frens but not families..i hate that feeling....

Bad day 2

Sob sob....wut a bad and unlucky thing..seems like none of the things goes right..ever since this morning until just now..nothing good happened..all the things couldnt go on smoothly...there mus be something jam up over there..really mentally stress up for the whole day til all the temper came out, moody and feel sad..on the work i guess...reli like stress recently..nothing seems going right, i have been trying my very best to do it, but still couldnt solve it...reli stress man...somemore, i hurt my hand, shoulder and waist..very painful...becos of chris la, by helping her to carry the heavy microwave, i hurt myself...sob sob...wish that he is here to help me to masage and put medicine...cant wait til the day he come back..

Wut I have done for today!!!

Wut a tiring day..i sweep the floor, mop the floor, wash the kitchen, clean my rooms, wipe the windows, iron the clothes..etc...til im totally exhausted..then i went for swimming...But still i have did smth for xiauweng..i make smth special for him as our 100 days anniversary present. It might not be smth expensive but something that i make solely for him..i made this til my hand and neck also painful..but al of this not becos of only making this til i felt tired instead i feel happy when i did this to him..when i love somebody, u will willing to do smth for him..eventough u feel tired but u will think that wut u have done is worth to get his smile on his face by saying "thank you dear, i love it so much", is reli worth for it..

Farewell to AWei

Again, there is another fren who is going to leave this big families..she is the person who leave after seow hwee..she is a bit boyish, tough and good-looking..is a nice person..i was absent on the morning session, she bought ice-cream as a farewell present for each of them, but too bad i dun hav one and it doesnt matter to me. Suddenly, this afternoon, when melinda came back from MAS, she walked towards me and hand over a red box, when i saw it, i knew it was KFC, she told me that the chicken is ah wei asked her to buy for me as the farewell present since i missed the ice-crema yesterday, that moment i felt so much touching cos i never think that i will have it somemore is something different from each of them. That moment i knew that we bought that cake for her is worth for it.This cake is a big surprise to her..i can see that she feels touching on the things that we did it to her..especially the moment that she left the office, i still remember it was 630pm, everybody walked over and said the last goodbye to her. Before she left, she told melinda that she missed her tong sui so much and her tears dropped down.all of us felt surprise, a tough gal will dropped her tears..i was wondered when the day soh cheng leave or me, will i cry???the question prompt out from my mind. when everybody busy saying goodbye to her, sip walked over to the door there and open to ask her to leave, i know he just wana fool around, since he lost a good partner on the audit work..all of us miss her so much, she have been here for about a year, the time is not long and not short, too much memories brought over to her..those sadness and happiness..althought YCC might not be a good company to give wutever you want in terms of increment or opportunity to reach higher but still it is a warmest company, the environment of working, the colleagues are frenly, like to fool around, helping each others..when i look back i notice that i've make a right decision on the time wheni choose this company, im not regret of coming in, one thing i canot admit is i reli thanks to karuna, he reli teach me alot and help me alot... i reli gain alot from him..never regret on working here...

Bad Dayz again !!!!!!!!

I was wondering how come everytime im soo "lucky"this is the second time i lock myself but this time slightly different compare to last time, cos i locked myself in my room. can u imagine, no water no food, going to be dehydration...but, not so serious until that level. at least i have little bit water, without any food, and toilet!!!i guess one of the lucky that happened today which is at least i din feel stomachache that day consider as the most luckiest thing edi...i shud be appreciate that.reli felt helpless that time, nobody can help me, somemore raining heavily early in the morning, wut a bad day !!!!no locksmith willing to come, even if there is one willing to come but he wants to charge at a higher amount which is about few hundreds over. he is like a shark bitting me or wut i can say is he is sucking my blood just like a vampire. i have make many calls til almost many ppl also know wut had happened to me, more than 20 ppl know about my embarrass things, all of them just like laughing at me..til i reach to owner there.luckily she willing to pay me back for the bil but too bad, i forget to the bill from the uncle, i guess i have to call him back to get back the bill if not i cant get back my money!!!im broke man...almost wana cry this morning..luckily i din cry after thinking about it cos this is not the first time, i should be forbia in this case right?luckily hong sun manage to help me this morning, he bring the locksmith to come over and send him back again to take the lock and come back again to accompany me just in case i don;t have enough money to pay for it, reli feel sorry and thanks him so much cos he didnt slep for 24 hours edi due to heavy work load..i feel so thankful for helping me to run here and there although he is tired, wut a good fren of him..the worst thing is the management fella did bring over the locksmith and at the same time hong sun reach my house wit the locksmith, end up there are 2 locksmith, i reli feel embarrass at the moment like i make the things more complicated.end up i have to pay for 2 persons, the first fella who come from kl, he is just like the vampire to suck my blood, suck my rm80 bucks, luckily the 2nd uncle charge me rm50 bucks onli...wut a lucky...finalli everything has fixed, end up went back to the office...the 2nd bad thing happend again, i make a mistake on my work again, if this is a mistake from client still acceptable but this work come from the big boss..wut a big mistake i make on the name somemore this is the thing that i have submitted to SSM, now i reli feel guilty for making such a big mistake!!!!this is not the first time..how dare i make such a big mistake, sometimes i reli suspect whether i reli suit to work in this line due to im such a careless person..feel very guilty..suddenly feel like today is the most bad day i ever had in my life.never come to this before like never ends...haiz...i reli need some relieve..after happen all this thing, i reli wish he can be by my side when i ned help but always he is not the one. i know that i cant blame him, he is trying his very best edi...and i never ever blame him for tht also..although i wish to hav him by my side.my sis asked me whether will i fall in love wit him since he helped me, wut a big joke...but one thing canot deny which is i reli feel appreciate him and thanks him.

Missing someone

Recently i had been busy on my work, almost 24 hours in the office..working non stop til im going to forget who is my beloved or who are my frens...but i will never ever forget how much missing i had on him...is been 2 more weeks i didn't meet him, feel so suffer..wish that he can be by my side all the time..sometime when i see all those couples happy holding hands, hugging together...i wish i can be like them..long distance will make ppl feel suffer..but which can make my love increasing from day to day...he is the best i ever had..

Sadness

Wut a day...came home late and receive a bad news..gosh wut a bad news, cant acceptable..i onli can see those tears dropped down from her. never ever see she is so weak before..never ever.. since the day i knew her, she is a tough and strong person that i ever met, she can handlle everything well but no fail. This time it is a tough time for her, she was so hurt, hurt til deep inside her heart, something that she never tried before.Seeing her sadness, i felt sad also but i just feel like i cant do anything. Tonight, she express everything to me, something that keep inside her heart for such a long time, something that couldn't easily wipe out from her mind or heart. is something like a tattoo that stuck in her heart..not only this, some other thing that haunt her mind..a problem that might make her have a big changes in her life..a big changes to her which might make her couldn't adapt at this moment. family problem brought a changes to her..wut a sudden bad news to her, if i was in this situation, i bet i couldnt accept it at all..we might know how to advise people, while we are at this situation, nobody can act rational as the way they advise people..too many things happened recently surrounding me, looks like all the problems come out from my frens, this moment reli couldn;t accept it..even another of my fren told me that she wants to break up wit her beloved.I reli duno how to advise them. Those problems come out from them..seeing each of them suffer in their love life, i felt so much sad on i cant do anything.I don;t even see them smile and laugh just like last time..those gals tat i knew before are gone..those laughing from them are become lesser..even the smile from her, i felt she was pretending only but not truth from their heart...it makes me felt sad....i wish everything will be fine ..sooner or later, those smiling faces appear in their faces again....

Wut a Bady Dayz!!!

Wut a bad day today!!!Everything also couldn't go on smoothly. Everything also jam out and stuck over there..wut a bad day today....hate it ...forget this one, canot go thru this one, not enuf time, the place was close, stuck in heavy traffic jam, hate it so muchie la...wut a tiring day..wish that can go home early...thought that now suppose to be the peak period, end up the audit fella go home much more earlier than me..felt so much imbalance la...suppose they are the one who need to OT end up v are the one in OT , wut had happend la?feel so much unfair to us...reli duno why,today all the cant go on smoothly..lately onli v notice that today is april fool...hahha..wut a big fool to us today..

I guess evything that happend that are those bad things, that's the one thing that i feel good is I met Jeffrey Ong!!!guess who is he?? he is the swimmer that represent Msia to take part in the sea games and gain lots of medals..wut a proud to malaysia. The things that attract me is his gentlemen..OMG so gentle and the way he talked very nice...I love this kind of person..wahahaa..my colleague told me that im like fall on it...

Later when i reached home, i heard that she was get scolded yesterday nite by her..i reli duno why this relationship has to be lasting for how long..later, i knew that she will be moving out to her aunty there, i agreed that it might be a good way to solve the problem. It will be a good solution for both of them to avoid seeing each other everyday. This might not be a good wat for both of them to let those jealousy getting on and on...I knew that she is not willing to let her go and stay with her relatives but this will be a good way to settle to current problem. The damn shock thing that i get to know is, she went out wit her alone to celebrate her burfday, i was damn shock. I couldnt imagine how come everything come to be so fast and not acceptable..and unbelievable..the main thing is im not the only one who couldnt accept it. As I know she is not this kind of person and everything seems not alrite. Through my point of view, i notice that both of them are trying to use another person to hurt her and let them to forget each of them. I hope i was wrong, just like wut she told me, life has to be go on but this kind of things has to take time to settle it, not something that can be settle within one or two days. I reli wish the problem can be settle within a short time, reli dun wan to see her continue like this.

BuSyZzzZzz

Have been busy for the whole days.. didn;t talk much also...sohcheng wasn't around make me felt bored and im initiative on doing all my filing works..almost finished filing all those documents that had been keeping for a long time, finali finished all at one shot. Right after i reach home, i used 20 minutes time to finished evything , took bath, changed clothes and dried up my hair, all i need was 20 minutes, have been attain the records that i ever had. Later straight away went out for yum cha..On the way going home, she told me she still felt sad on it especially when she is going out. she knew tht she is sad but she cant do anything.i knew she wasn;t happy yesterday right after she the msg to me when she walked to my room, looking for the clothes and doing fashion show (wut she told me ), i knew that she must not feel good on this but just couldn't do anything on it edi. Things had been changed, life goes on, everyone shud go on a better way or wut can i said is a way that we shud go.

Last nite, i was in a hot temper, moody and even felt like wana cry, i ignore him, din reply his msg, din ans his call, and treated him as transparancy,i saw him thru web cam and he just didn't do anything right after he told me he is abit impatience on my temper. I felt on sad on his wording especially when he hung up my call, i feel like wana cry out.im so stupid, hav a stupid thought, thought he will no bother me anymore.such a stupid wording came out from my mouth.shit man...He gave me one sentence of word to replace everything. He said" Dear i reli love u so much, pls dun do this to me, i felt very sad and heart pain"i felt like im so naif anc childish to do all this kind of stupid things to him...sorry to him...wish to love him more...dun wan lose him..

Emotional

Darling..I reli duno why there is a sudden moody of me and I dun wana answer u...I know that im just to yum sing..the moment that u told me" I felt very impatient edi, I dun wan to say anything" . A thought in my mind, he is going to be fed up on my behaviour or my temper manner..i reli duno..i was afraid..i feel like wana cry but i couldn't. not even a single drop of my tears was dropped out.izzit becos im not so moody as i thought?or i just wana be angry of those wording that they said jus now...those shitting cases??and i just wana put all my temper on him??when the time i saw his msg in skype, im not feeling like wana reply a single word, but when the time i saw him away from his seat, i was worried, he is totally fed up wit it edi, i felt very helpless...pls..wut happen to me ...

Solution

Yesterday i was worrying about her, seeing her eyes was swollen, emotional not stable, uncontrollable, those sadness was overwhelming each of us..Lately i saw her was talking wit her thru webcam and sound feeling better than before. Today she told me that everything has reach a compromise..both of them agreed to let each of us. she even told me that she is going to start a new relationship.she said that she is going to start a new relationship that;s why she feel uncontrollable and emotional..is sad to hear that. i believe if these words come out from xw, definately my tears won't be lesser than her.she told me that this is a turning point of her, i agreed with wut she said. This might be a tough time to go thru, or wut can i said, this might be a good time for both of them to adapt to a new environment, an environment or days that without her.. I guess there are no longer love exist between them, wut they have is it might be a habit for each of them, some sort of relying on each of them..now is time for them to be independent." Life Goes On", this is wut she told me, these wordings are great.v shud be heading towards but not behind. I reli wish both of them can be return back to the person that i knew previously, the girl that are happy go lucky, bright and cheerful..I wish i can see it.

Happy Burfday to My Beloved Darlingz

Strawberry Mouise Cake...His Burfday Cakie..

His

Burfday Dinner in TGI Fridays in The Curve



Happy Burfday to yOuuUuu!!!








Darling with lime juice and Strawberry moouse cake

Last week is his burfdayi, i have been busy thinking on his burfday present. Finally something come to my mind, which is perfume or wallet. I knew that he had allergy on perfume, so end up i have decided to buy a wallet for him. On the brand problem which make me mad. he told me NO RENOMA for him, such a choosy fella..and then i told him, i not able to get the branded wallet for him such as braun buffel, he agreed also..and i told him tht i got no time to buy his present so i decided to bring him along to get the present, he agree wit that. end up, the day before he came back, i went to 1utama with frens, i saw there are some discounts on jj on the guys wallet, unfortunately, i saw braun buffel this brand, i walked over there to hav a look, that moment i decided to get him one but for discounted one, end up the one that i choose is the new arrival and no discount at all, somemore it is so much more than my budgeted amount. Im so broke..but when the time i saw him open the present and that kind of shock and surprise when he saw the brand and the walet, i felt that it is worth it. i knew tht he is very happy on it..although, im not able to have a grand burfday for him jus a small piece of cake which can make him happy for the whole days...i guess this might be im his very first girlfriend and the very first burfday that celebrate wit him....wish that i can be celebrate for him for evy single year.

Relationship

Days passing very fast, by calculating the days that v had been today is about 2 more months edi..time reli pass very fast..I felt very happy when i have him as my beloved and some kind of recognition from both of our families, it doesnt refer to those procedure like "meet the parents" but it had been get some kind of introduce me to his family members and do have a day out wit his sister..a nice gal..but i just feel like a weird feeling..may be this is so called the tension or scare feeling.I was afraid that im not acceptable by his families..hope im not wrong..
While at the same time of my happiness, i never notice that my fren is suffering, i felt so sad on it, how come i never notice my fren is suffering, when i knew it wut had happened on her, i felt tht im helpless, and i just CAN"T DO ANYTHING".Recently, her incident has been apprearing in my mind oftenly, i reli duno why, i cant figure it out aso..Have been seeing her suffering evything that she just cant do anything to solve this problem, this is wut she told me" This is not easy to solve, involve in too many people, hard to figure a good solution", at that moment, i wish she can share out evything to me, may be this problem unsolveable, but i wish some kind of expressing out the feeling might make her felt more relieve of not keeping this secret in her mind for such a long time. when she told me about the incident, i have been suspecting for a long time, but as a best fren of her, since she dun wana express out anything, i will just leave her alone on this, cos this is wut v believe, " If a person willing to tell out something, he or she definately will express it out without asking by other frens" this is our theory, i believe it so do she. I reli dun wana see her continue to suffer by having so much problems which including some sort of stress that giving by her family.Hair drops, no apetite, insomia and so on..i saw her had weight dropping, she is getting thin and thinner.When i see this, i reli duno wut to do, just like wut she told me " Sorry for letting u know it which add on stress on u" gal, frens are never mention on these kind of words unless u never ever treated me as a good fren of u. I reli wish all of those person pls stop adding in stress on u, if u reli a considerate person or care for her, pls let her go and leave her alone.
I reli duno why, recently many of my frens have problems on their relationship, felt that sadness surrounding all of us...never ever ends..recently, the latest one that i knew is a good fren of him, he told me that, he felt so sad on the relationship that had been dragging for a long time and now finally reach an end. For him, this is suppose to be a good solution or some kind of relieve, instead of this, he felt sad on this relationship.i guess he is truth to her but with the word of "commitment", they are afraid to proceed to the next step, i bet, there might be just a single step, will reach to a happy ending but they couldn't reach there.Although he is not so close to me, the way he told me about his story, i can feel that he is suffering..he is losing her, which may be of those WORDING from him to her or may be this suppose to be the time to end this dragged relationship.
After knowing so many incidents, i will feel that im in happiness but there are still some kind of worry, afraid me and him will be the next, but i knew that we won't be easily come to an end after all those things happened among us, our relationship shud be build up concrete.some wishes come to my mind which is i wish all my frens are stay happily and healthy everyday, no more some sort of stress, worry and sadness....

miss you like crazy!!!

I never know about the feeling of missing a person like crazy.. i guess now i felt that.. this is the first time i miss a person like crazy, he seems near to me but far from me..I never had a feeling of missing a person for every minute every second..he is the onli person i had this feeling, jus wana manja him, lao gai in front of him...i miss him soo muchie.. cant wait until sun, that time i can meet him..reli wish he is be by my side everyday..he is the first person who i feel like i wana stay wit him, hug him, be with him,the person who i wish to tell my families he is my beloved, the person i wish to marry, the person who i feel i stay forever with him..i reli duno why i had al these feeling in my heart...all i know is i reli wish to be with him forever...may be too many things happened between us..many memories..like v go thru lots of things..nth can stop us now..i wish to appreciate and cherish him as much as i can...now onli i know he is the one im looking for...too many things that happened previously, i jus wana forget about it and let it pass..dear..i love you...

Finally...

Finally, everything has came to a decision..after all the things had happened for these few months, i found out i couldn't let him go away from him, i started to miss him evyday, miss the day that he didn't call me, miss the day the he didn't look for me, scared that he said he is going to leave me, scared that his fren will use diff angle to see me..soo much fear and worry on me now..finali, all my worries reach an ends, evything is turning up to a good way...since so many things happened recently, finali im his beloved, we hav so called the title for both of us..i knew that he is so happy ever since that day i said yes..and still he is so stupid til he needs my hints to know that im ready, sometimes i reli felt frustrated on it, but after i hav think for a while, it might be a good thing for me to prove that he will not easily fall in love with others or easily say those words to other gals, he can gif me some kind of secure, i felt so much secure when im with him although it is not physically, but i do felt that kind of secure from him.i knew that he will use his heart to love me, to cherish me and appreciate me, i guess this time i reli find my mr right. although he is not handsome , not rich stupid but i reli like him to use his heart to love me..although v had not started for a long time, but i felt like i have been gone thru many things with him, many memories with him..with hapy and sadness..ever since im with him, all the moments i've been thinking on him, missing him, i reli miss him so much, wish that he can be by my side...before i be with him, i told him evything about her, the days and memories with her..i knew that it might be something very unacceptable by a guy, but i reli didn;t mean to cheat him when im be with him, i reli dun wan to cheat him anymore..i want to use my heart to love him..to cherish him.i admit, sumtimes when i heard tht she call hm or asked her out for yum cha, in my heart i felt a bit weird, i guess i still haven totally forget her, i reli wish to be her fren and let all the things passed, somehow i need to do it..i couldn;t be as playful as last time..i will cherish him...love him..